Goodbye Grandma Dorothy
My Grandma Dorothy (who makes a cameo appearance in The Milk Memos on page 173) passed away a week before Christmas. Her health had been failing for a long time, so we all knew death was near. Still, endings are always hard. I find myself thinking I should have visited her more often and wondering what more I could have done to give her comfort in her last days. The last time I visited her (about a month ago), I brought Caleb with me. He put his hand in hers, and she smiled. She was blind, but she knew exactly whose little hand touched hers, and the realization gave her joy. I’ll always remember that. Little kids always seem to be able to bring smiles, no matter the situation.
Case in point: When we were at the funeral, my niece Ella (who is 3), peered over the edge of the grave where the casket was about to be lowered and said, “This does NOT look safe for Gramcracker!” We all laughed.
At the end of the funeral, both Ella and Caleb knelt by the grave and scattered rose petals, one by one, onto the casket. Gramcracker would have been proud. As I watched the petals float down, I started to wonder what my Grandma had been like at Ella’s age. She too had once been this small, cheerful and full of wonderment. Where had her life gone? What were her proudest moments? Her private failures? Who will be standing at Ella and Caleb’s gravesite when they are ready to go to heaven? It’s almost too much to for my mind to imagine.
Death always brings perspective — and with Gramcracker’s passing, I found I worried less this year about the hustle bustle of Christmas, sending cards on time, and all of my external desires. I want this feeling to last. Not the sadness, of course — just a palpable desire to appreciate all that I am blessed with.
So, give your babies extra hugs and kisses today — and more tickles on their toes. These times with our little ones are more precious than we know.