Milkmemos Blog

Last week, Cate and I were interviewed by Forbes Magazine for an article about how to survive the first week back at work.  So, if you know a mom who is getting ready to go back to work — or if you care to relive your first week back — check out the article, which was published on Tuesday.

Tara Forbes, the author, does a nice job of summing up what to expect and how to prepare. Enjoy.

My Grandma Dorothy (who makes a cameo appearance in The Milk Memos on page 173) passed away a week before Christmas. Her health had been failing for a long time, so we all knew death was near. Still, endings are always hard. I find myself thinking I should have visited her more often and wondering what more I could have done to give her comfort in her last days. The last time I visited her (about a month ago), I brought Caleb with me. He put his hand in hers, and she smiled. She was blind, but she knew exactly whose little hand touched hers, and the realization gave her joy. I’ll always remember that. Little kids always seem to be able to bring smiles, no matter the situation.

Case in point: When we were at the funeral, my niece Ella (who is 3), peered over the edge of the grave where the casket was about to be lowered and said, “This does NOT look safe for Gramcracker!” We all laughed.

At the end of the funeral, both Ella and Caleb knelt by the grave and scattered rose petals, one by one, onto the casket. Gramcracker would have been proud. As I watched the petals float down, I started to wonder what my Grandma had been like at Ella’s age. She too had once been this small, cheerful and  full of wonderment. Where had her life gone? What were her proudest moments? Her private failures? Who will be standing at Ella and Caleb’s gravesite when they are ready to go to heaven? It’s almost too much to for my mind to imagine.

Death always brings perspective — and with Gramcracker’s passing, I found I worried less this year about the hustle bustle of Christmas, sending cards on time, and all of my external desires. I want this feeling to last. Not the sadness, of course — just a palpable desire to appreciate all that I am blessed with.

So, give your babies extra hugs and kisses today — and more tickles on their toes. These times with our little ones are more precious than we know.

I recently returned from Las Vegas — and I can tell you everything that happened while I was there. My brother says this is a sure sign that I did Las Vegas all wrong. I think his actual words (while laughing at me) were: “You’re a Vegas Virgin.”

But let me set the record straight. My husband and I travelled there for our first vacation together (sans kids) in over two years. Leaving Denver, we had visions in our heads of late nights, fancy meals, a few extra cocktails, sleeping in (but not so late that we’d miss the breakfast buffet), seeing a few shows, and maybe doing something a little wild and crazy. After all, we’re still hip, right?

Unfortunately, we set our sights a little too high. Being on a budget, we picked a hotel that was not in the heart of the Las Vegas strip. I mean, the address said it was on the strip — but this thing was past Circus Circus and the Stratosphere, for anyone who knows the area. For those who don’t, let’s just say we became very familiar with the bus driver during our stay. That is to say that I think I spent more time on bus trips than I did in all my years in grade school. Did I mention that it poured rain for two of the four days I was there (FYI — Las Vegas gets only about 10 rainy days per year)? This meant I had to stand at the bus stop (no umbrella, no jacket) in the pouring rain, while I could feel my naturally curly mane frizz out and give a new meaning to the phrase “bad hair day.” Our hotel had no restaurant (so much for breakfast buffet), no bar, and no in-room movie rental service.

Plus, my husband and I don’t even gamble. What’s there to do on a rainy day in Vegas if you don’t gamble and are on a budget (ie: no shopping)? Well, I’ll tell you what: have a melt down! All of the sudden, both of us started wondering if we were even capable of vacationing together without kids. Some vacation.

It was about that time that I remembered that we had forgotten to have an attitude of gratitude. After all, our good friends had treated us to see “O” (Cirque du Soleil) and to a very fancy dinner while there. I had gotten all gussied up and had my makeup done one night. In addition to “O”, we saw Mystere and Ka too. So, this story has a happy ending — we salvaged the vacation and even decided that we might like to go back some day. Next time, though, we’re staying on the REAL strip.

One observation I had about Vegas (and the real reason I’m writing this blog) is to say that breasts are everywhere in Vegas – peering out of dresses, popping out on billboards, pressing us against poles (in advertisements everywhere)! And amazingly, I didn’t hear one person complaining. There was no news story about how many breasts could be seen, nobody got kicked out of a restaurant, and nobody seemed uncomfortable. Isn’t it crazy how breasts are acceptable if they are sexy, but unacceptable if they’re used for their REAL purpose — feeding our babies!!

Until next time…

I’ve been sweating ever since Cate asked me to share eight things you don’t know about me. The pressure! I asked my husband (Roger) to brainstorm with me (mistake) — and it took him milliseconds to respond with Thing #1:

1. I can’t back up. In a car, that is. Last October, Roger’s parents visited and parked their rental car on our driveway, right behind my car. I went to back out of the garage and — *smash* — I backed right into the rental car. Remember that tip from Driver’s Ed about checking your blind spots before backing up? Woops. There are plenty of other examples of my backing up “issues.” I have backed into a mail box, a light post, and have skimmed our garage with my side view mirrors.

2. I used to have a belly ring. That was in the pre-pregnancy days. Need I say more?

3. I love to drive around in my car singing Elvis songs at the top of my lungs with Caleb. Our current favorite is Jailhouse Rock. “The band was jumpin’ and the joint began to swing. You should’ve heard those knocked out jailbirds sing. Let’s rock…everybody let’s rock!”

4. Don’t tell anyone — but I once ran around with out clothes on at Woodstock. (The right word there is “naked” — but it just seems a little un-motherly to say that right here for some reason!). I taught tennis at a summer camp in New York during college, and on one of my days off, driving to Woodstock and running around in my birthday suit with friends seemed like just the right thing to do.

5. My favorite dessert is key lime pie. And I’ve found the BEST key lime pie right here in Longmont at a new restaurant called Sugarbeet. (Sorry Grandma).

6. When I laugh really hard, my thumbs go weak. I know, it’s weird. They go all tingly on me and I can’t even pick up an envelope.

7. I count stairs — in my house, restaurants, hotels, you name it. Even if I’ve counted the same ones before, I count them again the next time I go up or down them.  I was afraid to admit this until recently, when I read a Reader’s Digest article about strange habits. Turns out that I’m completely normal (sort of). Lots of people do this. And it isn’t considered a problem unless I start to feel anxious when I don’t count. What a relief.

8. During my first month at IBM, I was asked by a former admin assistant to throw a surprise 50th birthday party for the Director I worked for. I bought a cake, card, and invited all the right mucky mucks (read: senior VPs) to the occasion. When Mr. Director walked into the room and we all yelled, “Surprise!!” he turned to me and said, “I’m not 50.” We all laughed and said, “Sure you’re not!” He said it again (this time a bit more sternly): “I’m not 50. I’m 48!!” I ran out of the room crying from embarrasment.

Phew…there you have it. That last one is STILL painful. Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve blogged…Andrea

At the invitation of my new friend Tanya Lieberman, the host of the Motherwear Breastfeeding blog, I offer eight things you don’t know about me. This is challenging because if you’ve read The Milk Memos, you know a lot about me! The character Cate is truly me! The only exception is that in the book I say I’m not musical, when in fact I can carry a tune (if I don’t say so myself) and read music / play the piano (however, my piano playing resembles typing vs. expressing a natural musical talent).

Here goes:

1. I used to drive a new VW Beetle. Silver. (I wanted blue, but they were very hard to find in ‘99 and I couldn’t wait for blue.) I sold my practical Honda Accord to my parents after giving up the notion that I would drive it into the ground. I was TOTALLY obsessed with Beetles, driving past the VW dealership daily. We sold the Beetle and bought a Toyata Sienna minivan 2 weeks before Mary was born. Some day I’ll have another Beetle. Convertable!

2. Bleu Cheese gives me the heebie geebies!!! Ick.

3. If I had to choose my last meal, it would be a fresh fruit platter with perfectly ripe, juicy, colorful fruit. Also, I’d have delicious fresh bread and really yummy cheese on the side. I once asked a friend what she’d choose, and she said a Reuben sandwich! Can you imagine?

4. I have a tattoo on the inside of my left ankle. It started with a star about the size of a nickel which my best friend “got” me for at the Acme Tattoo Parlor in St. Paul for my 26th birthday. (I lived in Minneapolis for a few years after college.) 12 years later, I had the star colored in green (my favorite color) and added two smaller pink stars to represent the girls.

5. I got my nose pierced for my 40th birthday! I have a teensie-weensie diamond on the right side (to counterbalance my tattoo, which is on my left ankle). I love it!!

6. I can’t eat spicy food. Hot spicy, I mean. I’m talking I can’t even chew cinnamon gum. It makes my head sweat. When I eat chips & salsa, I have found that it works well to just let my chip hover over the salsa to get the essence.

7. I love folk and bluegrass music, and am 100% clueless regarding current popular music. The only radio I listen to is NPR, which I absolutely adore and should really support more with pledges. My all-time favorite musicians are Emmylou Harris and Paul Simon. I also love Nanci Griffith, Allison Kraus, Johnny Cash and Gram Parsons.

8. I don’t know how to drive a stick-shift car. My college roommate tried to teach me, but I never got the hang of it.

So there you have it. I hereby pass this on to:

1. My co-author, Andrea Serrette!

2. Andi Silverman of Mama Knows Breast

3. Angela White of Breastfeeding123
xoxo, Cate